i'm already a teacher! and i can call myself a T.E.A.C.H.E.R. and thank u to all my teachers, at school, at home and everywhere...

A new sudden addiction!

Addiction?
Yes!
Yesterday, a teacher mentioned to me..
'kalo budak x salin nota yg mazidah bagi, tak taula. tulisan dia kat atas blackboard tu...besarr, bulat!'
I just laughed, a bit touched.


After entering a class in the first period today, i tried to improve my handwriting. smaller and neater!

And then, tgk dari jauh. sengaja bejalan, berdiri kat blakang kelas. erm, better..look nicer! not bad.

The class finished, another period coming non stop.

Suddenly rasa cam best ja nak tulis lagi, on the blackboard!

Mencabarnya Tarawikh...

3 Ramadhan 1430H

Setelah sekian lama, Ramadhan datang lagi..and this time, I’m fasting as someone whose already working and not anymore as a student after 6 years.

Ramadhan tahun ni disertai musim hujan yang panjang dan meleret-leret, dari pagi ke petang, sampai malam. Tapi aku tak kata hujan ni cuaca yang buruk, sebab ada jugak orang yang suka hujan..iaitu aku, especially bila school holiday.

FYI, aku jenis yang susah nak tidur siang. Balik sekolah aku biasanya akan lunch, solat, then lepak depan TV melainkan kalau aku betul2 penat macam ada 1 hari tu sampai tak ada masa nak masuk bilik guru.

Malam tarawikh awal-awal macam biasa ja, tapi malam ketiga tu aduuh..aku sendiri pun tak tau apa jadi kat aku. Berbuka macam biasa, maghrib, ke surau. Isya’, tarawikh..2 rakaat, 4, 6, 8. Imam baca doa panjang skit and then rehat jap 5 minit. Ada la 2 3 orang yang tinggalkan saf.. aku pun menguap la, 1x, 2x. Aku pun lentok la kejap kat atas sejadah, in a form of a ‘sujud’.

Sujud malam tu adalah sujud aku paling panjang. Mana taknya, start dari rakaat 9 sampai habis rakaat ke18. Fuhh... Yang peliknya, apsal mak or akak aku tak kejutkan? Sedar je, mak aku cakap..

‘Panjang sujud syukur kamu ye?’

Assalamualaikum, greettings to all...

This entry is written in 10 minutes time before I go to my next class

1. Exam questions
I was appointed as 'Penyelaras Soalan' for Form 4 English, Form 1 Computer Literacy and Standard 5 Mathematics. English paper is fine with me, but for CL - there is no reference
or anything; not even books or teachers to refer to. Maths - I was given the order abruptly
and believe it or not, I finished it in 15 minutes before it was sent for riso. Phew!

2. Eat
July 27, today! I have not eaten anything, yet. No time, seriously. Makan kat asram pun ok
la, not bad boleh masuk mulut la. Alhamdulillah.

3. Urusan posting
Done!

4. Konvokesyen
Headache. Still not sure if my parents will be able to come, in the process of 'memujuk' my
sisters and brothers to take a day leave to go for my konvo.

5. Former teacher
I've met 2 of my former teachers, one in standard 5 and another one in form 2. used to be
their student, and now colleagues!

get to know

what do you call a person who has exam the next day but still have time to take 5 and complete a personality test on the net? --- haha

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

from http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

i'm afraid

these few days, this week basically. i feel, somehow:

anxious
frightened
restless
uneasy
yearning

for i do not know what
for i do not who
for i do not know on what reason

i feel like i am somewhere else, when i am actually at one particular place

even scattered around, places i do not know

wondering if i am doing the right thing

choosing one particular person over the other

putting myself into the the secret-self commitment


everything needs justification + i am what i decide + whom to be and to be with

self-reflect

for the previous tutorial session, this was what came out about me..

this person is confident
has self-disciplined
work smart
as usual, the word 'confirm' came out!
and
cute!

thanx to whoever the writer is, which i guess would be a female..?? confess!

i actually really waited for 'the letter about me' to come out. because i think this is a good and meaningful activity and and also an approach for you to know yourself better from the point of view of other people, self-reflect!

a week after, which was yesterday...it revealed another me! my open problem..

suffer-in-silence
confused
easily get bored
one with mixed-feeling, almost all the time!

and my most favourite suggestion of solution was the one by faiz:
buy a perfume with the sweetest smell so i would feel more confident, as they inferred me by having 'inferiority complex'.. huhu

one obvious thing i should always do now is to

not be sad

or depressed

but smile!

practicum - project paper -posting!

this is the current version of my recall - reflect - review. surprisingly, mdm shirley likes it (her comment - I like this 3R, very witty of you (:)

i'm very serious about this. my practicum in lunas was with the other 2 friends, what about posting?

it's okay with me if it happen to be somewhere in semenanjung. what if it happen to be somewhere in Pulau Bumbum or Ulu Baram in Sarawak or Sabah?

Camel said i have to learn to live on my own. it's true. i agree.

but how?
how to face and deal with it in the first place?

whatever, wherever.
i have no choice.
i know.

sigh.