A new sudden addiction!

Addiction?
Yes!
Yesterday, a teacher mentioned to me..
'kalo budak x salin nota yg mazidah bagi, tak taula. tulisan dia kat atas blackboard tu...besarr, bulat!'
I just laughed, a bit touched.


After entering a class in the first period today, i tried to improve my handwriting. smaller and neater!

And then, tgk dari jauh. sengaja bejalan, berdiri kat blakang kelas. erm, better..look nicer! not bad.

The class finished, another period coming non stop.

Suddenly rasa cam best ja nak tulis lagi, on the blackboard!

Assalamualaikum, greettings to all...

This entry is written in 10 minutes time before I go to my next class

1. Exam questions
I was appointed as 'Penyelaras Soalan' for Form 4 English, Form 1 Computer Literacy and Standard 5 Mathematics. English paper is fine with me, but for CL - there is no reference
or anything; not even books or teachers to refer to. Maths - I was given the order abruptly
and believe it or not, I finished it in 15 minutes before it was sent for riso. Phew!

2. Eat
July 27, today! I have not eaten anything, yet. No time, seriously. Makan kat asram pun ok
la, not bad boleh masuk mulut la. Alhamdulillah.

3. Urusan posting
Done!

4. Konvokesyen
Headache. Still not sure if my parents will be able to come, in the process of 'memujuk' my
sisters and brothers to take a day leave to go for my konvo.

5. Former teacher
I've met 2 of my former teachers, one in standard 5 and another one in form 2. used to be
their student, and now colleagues!

in the school ambience

Assalamualaikum, greetings to all...(",)

Just to inform the latest news

I'm posted to Sekolah Model Khas Baling

The address

Sekolah Model Khas Baling
Jalan Bukit Carok Nau
09100 Baling
Kedah Yang Aman

Which means... I GOT POSTED TO MY HOMETOWN!

So now, i can't wait to get my own car so that i can stay at home permanently.

Why? Well, i hav transport problem and for now i go to school with my brother and insyaAllah by next week i'l be staying in te school hostel. All FOC!

Info about my school:
1. SModKB only consists of 500 students
2. Starting from Std. 4 - Form 5
3. Composition of studnets in a class: 19-25
4. Percents of English: 90% pass

Shocking news:
1. I have no choice than to teach Maths for Std. 5

Again, students greet me 'Assalamualaikum Ustazah!' on my first day.

tata titi tutu

in about half an hour, i'll be going back for good. may not be able to write for quite some times.
my heart is beating very hard. still waiting for my posting letter. phew!

perpisahan itu datang

when i'm writing this, i'm crying. out loud! i just let my roommate for 6 years go. go back for good. i feel so immature. but for me, 'this separation is an excuse to let my heart out.'

first to go were jey and odah.

last nite, it was maddy and kas. one is my 'total cry out' friend and another one is my 3- months-survivor partner.

this morning, it was tikah's time. tikah, u and ur mom rocks! sorry for everything...

this one is special for wani. yes, i cried in front of her, her mom and my other friends. we were hugging each other under the hot sun, but nothing else matters now. i just wanna let my heart out. wani, halalkan semuanya. maafkan semuanya. walaupun kita taklah selalu menggembar-gemburkan yang kita roommate for 6 years, but deep in each of our bottom heart u are my 'bestest' roommate ever. don't forget to keep in touch. i miss u already though we just separated for less than 10 minutes.

in half an hour, its milah's time. i don't how how much tears will flow from my eyes anymore.

then, eva's time.

and tomorrow will be the rest's time.

i'll be missing u guys. it has become a habit for me to be with all of the 24 of u. and now i'll be in the career world alone, but i know u guys will still be with me.

Ya Allah, berkati hidup mereka semua. InsyaAllah.

underwater world

my scuba diving picture!

~another world i would love to explore~

salam and greetings to all =)

1. i might be late with this entry.
2. now i realize, i'm a light packer. good sign for future backpacking trip ^_^
3. bas express ke pantai timur memang rock, tahap drift!
4. it's so long since the last time i'm 'dealing' with nature.
5. i'm learning to cure my 'mabuk laut'.
6. nyesal terlepas peluang mencandat sotong.

Most important of all, i had my birthday night blast on the boat for the first time in my 24 years!!!

Everytime we join something new, mesti nak pasang angan2 jadi itu dan ini. And here, aku pasang impian nak jadi sukarelawan PUSAKO. sounds easy, but InsyaAllah rezeki kan kehendak Allah asalkan kita usaha.


the backpackers team


waiting to be on board


subhanallah, that's all i can say


muka nak masuk laut



fish 'the boatman' caught before jumping into the sea


in the boat


snorkel time


the crystal mosque, went on the last day


one of the replicas


it' not that hard to be in Taj Mahal, thanx to Kak Iza and Cekgu Aizat...
only on the last day i found out Riss's sister and i have the same interest - korean/japanese movies!

How hectic my life could be?

For quite some time, writing new entries for my blog became very alien for these reasons that involved the closest and important people around me. Here is the sequence:

1. Out of the blue, Abah ‘sakit mata’. Yang peliknya, it doesn’t look that serious but it took some time to recover.
2. Then, Abah got ‘demam chikungunya’ dan abah panggil demam ni ‘sakit yang tak bawak mati’. Well, actually it’s true. This unusual demam will make all your joints somehow almost go ‘paralysed’. At one point, mak saw abah sitting at one corner of the house and crying to himself. Why? Abah said because it’s too painful that he doesn’t have the guts to burden anyone for help.
3. When abah recovered, then it goes to mak. Since mak is someone who loves to ‘bercerita’ to me, she told me how the suffering goes. She has to crawl to the bathroom (mak kata dia berat so she refuses any offer to help lift her up).
4. FYI, it was not just my abah and mak who were not well but also my tok (my gandma). Tok is bedridden, and getting worse these two months. Just imagine my mak and abah has to take care of my tok while they are also sick at the same time. Lucky them that my mak teh sometimes come to help.
5. After both mak and abah recovered from the ‘weird fever’, abah got ‘kayap’. Pity abah, though sometimes mak complains that abah is ‘manja’.

Glad I was at home, two weeks break. I have to be back to maktab for our Redang trip when the school break is about to start. Knowing that I’ll be away and my sister will be going to Sabah to see her husband, I decided to go take my twin nephews aka their twin grandson back while sending my sister to the Bayan Lepas airport. Just to make sure my mak and abah won’t be alone and feel sunyi at home while their two daughters are not around. Bringing back the two ‘kanak-kanak buas’ is another thing. I have to:

1. Unpack their stuff and arrange them accordingly. Meaning to say, which shirt comes with which pants.

2. Make sure their ‘kereta control’ which was given by their pak su (my younger brother) has enough battery for two weeks.

3. Write down what time they have to wake up, brush their teeth, mandi and sleep everyday.

4. Remind them where they should and should not go or play around, not to bother tok and tok wan when mak cik (it’s me) is not around.

Hectic, yes. But I learn a lot definitely. And now I’m here in maktab attending my 8 hours per day course called KISSM. I am now on the go to be a ‘penjawat awam’ while waiting for my ‘surat penempatan’.

get to know

what do you call a person who has exam the next day but still have time to take 5 and complete a personality test on the net? --- haha

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

from http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

i'm afraid

these few days, this week basically. i feel, somehow:

anxious
frightened
restless
uneasy
yearning

for i do not know what
for i do not who
for i do not know on what reason

i feel like i am somewhere else, when i am actually at one particular place

even scattered around, places i do not know

wondering if i am doing the right thing

choosing one particular person over the other

putting myself into the the secret-self commitment


everything needs justification + i am what i decide + whom to be and to be with

when its written

that evening
come to night
i feel sick, really sick
of the people around me
the nearest, the closest
even those i never know
when u have a wound, and some people put a pinch of salt on top of it!

i really need someone to talk to at that particular moment
but there was no one, only me
in my square own world

i wish my brother was here
he will hug me
put me into his comforting hands and shoulders
under his warm breath

beep beep
019... - r u comin back 2morro

he can totally read my mind
with this electrostatic and magnetic bond of a family

reply: x sure yet

019... - sakit ke

reply: u think

019... - i got new place to bring u, plz

reply... - go on ur own la

019... - not complete

reply: ok

the wound heal

the 18 'almost crazy' people

last saturday, 4th march.
18 of us, at my house prepare for our lata bayu picnic.

but for nani, najat and i: the preparation was even worse. we went to buy the stuff at pasar malam in the evening and prepare everything at night. tak malu nak ckp, kitorang bertiga mandi kol 12 mlm tu sebab xnak badan bau ayam. but it's fun though. even my mom was surprised that we could prepare those nice marinate sauce. huhu. i'm proud.

the next morning, another 15 came in 4 cars. thanx to camel, chrix, in and kalut for driving. sampai jugak depa kat umah aku. aku nampak muka mak ngan abah aku time tu, macam tekejut sebab ramai (actually aku tak cakap pun the exact number of people yg nak mai, hehe saja nak surprise). tp aku tau, mak ngan abah aku happy sebenanya tu, because they are actually sunyi xde sapa kat umah.

aku plan before that nak kenalkan diorang ni sorang2 kat parents aku, tapi x sempat sebab smua dah serbu and jadi hyper bila tgk pokok2 buah and my house yang macam dusun ni. instead of introducing them to my parents, i have to introduce them to all the pokok2 yang ada kat umah aku. hehe. winnie siap impressed lagi. 'patutla u tiap2 minggu balik rumah'. hehe

i jamu them with pulut santan + ikan pekasam + sambal ikan bilis + teh o panas for breakfast. mak aku terkejut tgk budak2 ni makan pulut macam nasik, abis lentok la smua lpas ni...

then, my mom and all of us siapkan all the last preparation. kerabu mangga + ulam pucuk paku and ulam raja + sambal belacan.

at 10am, we all pun bertolak.

and aku malu ngan diri aku, sebagai anak jati baling aku bleh bawak 2 kreta ke jalan yang salah hehe. aku excited sgt actually, tu yang sampai terlajak!

sampai
cari pot
set up tempat nak bakar ayam
main2 air
sambil menyicah pelam + jambu + asam renda

sambil tunggu ayam masak, they went to mandi
i didn't
ada sebab
yg aku cakap, x bawak baju tukar
actually aku lagi suka bila tgk member2 aku happy

these are all the pictures:

the boys tgh breakfast

setting up the fire, yang lain tu sebok jer...

penyebab sakit perut

hasilnya!

happy sampai terbang2 itik nih..

suka!

makan time!

allergik jumpa air, jd hyper..

~cantik kat belakang~

definitely, hoping this won't be our last picnic! there's more to come...lol (",)

simbol keriangan

on the 30th of march, last monday we went to play bowling in cs. since my shoulder is aching now due to this bowling stuff (it starts from the fingers, and now it goes to the right shoulder) and plus this weekends chores for our picnic, i don't think i can write much.so i will just tell the story through these pictures.

enjoy ^_^

me: miss, what's the smallest size u got?
akak tu: 1???
me: owe! give me size 3...(akak tu perli aku seh!)

the red team, supposedly! ejat, chris, mat and in (MIA)

me: jey, jom kite dua ambik gambar team
jey: the blue shirt girls
in: nak jugak
me: kacau la in
~bila tgk balik kamera, rupanya ada lagi sorang sesat kat tepi skali~




in: gda, jom kita ambik gambar layan aku: sapa nak ambikkan in: kita ambik sendiri ar... ~fyi, the camera was in in's hand. i kinda like this~

scene ambik gambar beramai2. banyak plak tu!

nak pi mana in?

say gda baby!!! the most shameful moment for me in public!

team champion, but still i got the 'most sikit' score sob sob ='(

then, we went to hotmas for dinner. this is my first time

camel and boy

our table

another table

some people: what stupid thing are u guys doing???
other people: we think what u did is more stupider!!!

~lol~

self-reflect

for the previous tutorial session, this was what came out about me..

this person is confident
has self-disciplined
work smart
as usual, the word 'confirm' came out!
and
cute!

thanx to whoever the writer is, which i guess would be a female..?? confess!

i actually really waited for 'the letter about me' to come out. because i think this is a good and meaningful activity and and also an approach for you to know yourself better from the point of view of other people, self-reflect!

a week after, which was yesterday...it revealed another me! my open problem..

suffer-in-silence
confused
easily get bored
one with mixed-feeling, almost all the time!

and my most favourite suggestion of solution was the one by faiz:
buy a perfume with the sweetest smell so i would feel more confident, as they inferred me by having 'inferiority complex'.. huhu

one obvious thing i should always do now is to

not be sad

or depressed

but smile!

good news that heal us all

'your storytelling concert will be postponed and it will be one of your post-exam activities. this is to give you some time for your project paper and also more ample time for you to prepare a great performance on that night.'

no other words i can say, alhamdulillah! there are still people who can be very understanding.

~ enjoy the pics of our first day practice ~

mencoba

milah and the goreng pisang

the face of the scriptwriter

odah yang berbaju merah

wani is looking around

matt and the lute

faiz in his fruit printed shirt

this is the way i see the lute

artistic

who -- me? as usual, hiding behind the screen!

--- wish us all luck ---

there's loser in everyone!

i just watched this movie this morning! yes, i got a lot of work to do yet the movie just keep inviting me...

the sisterhood of the traveling pants

this is quite an old movie, i think.

but it's nice. brilliant i mean.
gotta learn a lot from each encounter of the characters, the four girls. sisters as they would say it.

bridget. tibby. carmen. lena

all of which caught under 'what they call magic'. a pair of pants that suit them all. very well.
among all, this is what 'caught' me the most

tibby: there's loser in each of us!

(moral: if u did a mistake, it is a mistake)

carmen: our life changed because it has to

(moral: if anything good/bad happened to u, that is life)

watch the movie and find out

and the song

what's this life anyway
what's it to you and me
what is it to anyone
what it is suppose to be

make me a storybook
and write me away from here
i need a different now
where we can wear each other for a while
and i'll lend you my tears i could borrow your smile
and get through tomorrow
some other day
happy after once upon these days

allow me to say one word: meaningful

what i wish to do at this moment!

kissing my mom on the cheeks, the forehead and the nose!

eating what i've been craving for quite so long!
cencaru sumbat

sup tulang kaw

writing on chapter 4 and 5 of my project paper!

finish off mr. nukman's report on bilingualism!

lepaking at the waterfall!

and swim along...

hugging and playing with the kids in my life!

the three stooges

the two lovers

the two cuzzies

watching those interesting movies in my collection!

for the forth time

for the third time

and those i haven't watch...

~and still searching!