Tuesday, February 24, 2009
when i'm writing this, its raining outside.
lebat, tapi tak sangat.
i like the smell of rain, especially when i'm standing on a tarred road. nice and absorbing.
tapi kalo dalam bilik, bunyi dan bau hujan buat aku rasa syahdu.
the drops remind me of
people i love
two different opinions i got so far about rain:
this is one.
bila ujan? leceh! kalo jalan kat luar kena senteng sluar / kain.
ujan? smua keja yang dah plan mesti tak jadi. smua orang jadi slow, biasala cuaca lembap.
i love rainy days.
suka sangat. boleh main ujan.
bila ujan, i feel as if i'm in a different world. serious, trust me...
tapi yang pasti.
bila ujan datang, aku rasa lapar gila.
perut growling2 memanggil makanan. sebab tu aku suka browse blog2 yg banyak photo makanan..
suasana ujan lagi syahdu bila
teringatan zaman kecik2 dolu2.. suka main ujan, main lopak (kat tempat aku panggil lecah).
ingat lagi member2 lelaki yang main ganas, tolak aku jatuh dalam lopak.
pastu balik umah kena marah sebab baju kotor (mak aku tak pakai breeze).
bila dah nak cecah umo 24 ni, rasa malu la pulak kalo nak main ujan lg.
tp budak2 kampong aku pun dah tak pandai main benda2 ni lagi, semua dok dalam umah main game, tgk tv. bosan!
ini yg aku panggil nostalgia.
nostalgia hujan (",)
walopun ia cuma sandwic sardin
apatah lagi kalau nasi lemak ayam percik, sedap walaupun cuma sayur sawi dan mestilah bes kalo dapat cheese cake... nyum nyum!!
inilah nostalgia hujan...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
entri ini khas aku tujukan buat mangsa2 yang aku rasa paling kesian, dari penembak yang paling kejam.
mula2 skali, ejat!
i'm really really really sorry. that was my first 'hands-up' scene to people and aku rasa sebab aku panik kot... my hand was shivering, shaking!
tu yang aku terlepas tembakan yang 'short-range' dan paling kejam aku rasa. sorry. i just can't imagine the situation, it makes me feel terribly guilty.
seriously ejat, masa adik tu tanya ang whether nak tembak balas or not, aku rasa nak tolong jawab 'yes' untuk ang. aku sanggup je kalo ang nak tembak aku bertalu2!
serious aku tak kisah langsung. at least kurang skit rasa guilty aku kat ang. especially when i look at the bruise and bila aku tgk ang bejalan terencot2...
milah, aku nak aim tempat lain. tapi tempat tu pulak yang kena. sorry, sorry, sorry. mulanya aku ingatkan tak kena, skali ada bruise jugak.
ang tembak kaki aku sebab kaki aku terkeluar dari shield tu, biasala kaki extra panjang kan. aku pulak pi tembak ang, aku aim tangan sekali kena tempat lain.
sory sesangat ek milah.
dan kepada mangsa2 aku yang lain yang menjadi mangsa penembak paling kejam ni, aku betul2 mintak maaf. tapi aku masih tak puas hati sebab aku tak dapat any 'souvenir' except for wound kat lutut ni yang menyebabkan aku terpaksa sujud dalam keadaan slow mo...
nanti aku tulis lagi entri pasal main paint ball ni ek.
ini cuma ruangan khas, a tribute to all the victims of 'penembak paling kejam'!
Friday, February 20, 2009
you are struggling to meet the dateline
you are rushing to attend discussions
you are running out of time for something
you are feeling very nervous and worry that something you are
about to do will have any problem
you are trying your best to please each and everyone in almost
you are not well, but you act like you are
you are feeling 'gila bengang' and they just don't care!
though you know, and other people know that everyone has a lot of works waiting to be done before a new one comes.
this is just another session of me 'membebel'. lucky we're about to finish!
sorry. ampun. maaf. apology.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Seandainya telah kau tetapkan
Dia milikku dan tercipta buatku..
Dekatkanlah dia kepadaku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kemesraan antara kami
Agar kebahagiaan abadi
Seiring kami melayari hidup
Ke tepian sejahtera
Seandainya kau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku
Luput dalam ingatanku
Ya tuhanku maha pengerti
Berikan aku kekuatan agar ku bahagia
Walau tanpa dirinya
Dan tuhanku yang tercinta
Gantikanlah yang telah hilang
Meskipun tidak sama dengan dirinya
Jika benar cinta itu cinta senjati
Maka bebaskanlah ia
Jika benar cinta itu suci
Ia akan datang sendirinya
Jika ia benar dan tak kunjungi lagi
Maka anggaplah cinta itu memang tidak pernah
Wujud dari awal lagi.
Monday, February 16, 2009
and today, the ping pong tables were not there anymore. even the security guards have no idea where are they. where are the tables? macam tau2 je kita tengah gila nak main.
sometimes we went for a walk, or jogging. i never jog because i can't jog. i just walk. a lot of things we do while joging. cuci mata, mengumpat, menyakat. talking while walking is actually a form of exercise. usually it's ejat and me who will be waking together. thanx ejat for the company.
another new 'pot' is in the gymnasium, the gym. usually we play badminton here. we had so much fun. the usual people will come down.
thanx christine for the rackets. thanx nani for the shuttlecock.
kalut and i team up today beating nani and milah. we won for two sets, its not always that i have the chance to win. thanx kalut for your patience entertaining me whose not very good in badminton and 'buta' rules some more.
thanx milah for your laughter yang 'bergema' satu gym, though you were just 'berangan' to be a gymnast. thanx nani for the 'poco-poco' dance. both of you light up the day.
thanx inn for the 'hula-hup'. it would be better if you do it alone, so that other people won't laugh. wan did it better, very fast. for sure we can differentiate inn and wan, totally obvious. thanx wan too.
thanx le ann and winnie. winnie, though you are traumatized over the 'shuttlecock incident' you never give it up. le ann is the one like me, new in sport. very amateur. but we do try. right, le ann?
we do have a lot of assignments. we do have a lot of presentations. we do have project paper to be done. storyteling performance is coming up. much more.
all this is an escapism, in a way. have fun + be healthy. killing two birds with a stone.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
le boss = big potion!
this is some kind of a warning to me those who have been there (since i'm not eating much, sometimes!)
this is actually a birthday celebration for wan and inn.
happy birthday wan.
happy birthday inn.
use the present we gave wisely yea! for
i ordered pan grill chicken, with 2 sidelines - mash potato + wedges! my potion is not that surprising big, tp boley laa...
well, i finished it. thanx to riss, inn and azmi.
this kind of gathering is not just about eating, but it is more than that. we got to sit together and share whatever we have.
while eating and having fun with them all, it suddenly reminds me of my home.
because i usually spend weekends at home.
what actually my mak, abah and other siblings are doing right now?
what do they have for dinner?
do they remember me as well at this moment, the way i remember them?
Friday, February 13, 2009
and this will be the last. most definitely!
and the first time i will be collaborating with Winnie ^_^
this is all for our storytelling night, which we haven't decided the name.
once upon a time?
a night of magical tales!
voices from the ancient ....? (i don't really get this)
the whole class is like 'getting crazy and more crazier'!
whatever it is, i'm excited to delve into this moment!
By Zedeck Siew
(© Sanja Gjenero / sxc.hu)
PETALING JAYA, 12 Feb 2009: A new poll has found that the Perak Ruler's decision not to call for snap elections to solve the political imbroglio in the state is unpopular with Perakians.
A total 62% of a 507-voter sample polled by the Merdeka Centre for Opinion Research felt that the role of the palace in this case "does not reflect the will of the people of Perak".
The survey also found that 74% of respondents felt that the state assembly should be dissolved to pave the way for elections, according to a press statement released today by the Merdeka Centre.
The Perak crisis was precipitated when three Pakatan Rakyat state assemblypersons quit their respective parties to become independents, and threw their support behind the Barisan Nasional (BN).
Sultan Azlan Shah refused Perak Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin's request to dissolve the state legislative assembly, and instead agreed to BN forming the government. The move has been seen as an unpopular one, with people voicing out their anger at the Sultan's decision on the internet.
The Merdeka Centre poll found that only 21% thought the royalty was "most rightful in deciding who should form government in Perak". Over three-quarters of all respondents thought that who should form government was the reserve of "the people, through elections".
The poll was carried out via telephone, from 6 to 8 Feb 2009. Respondents — all from Perak — comprised of 47% Malay Malaysians, 41% Chinese Malaysians, and 12% Indian Malaysians, in accordance with the 2008 electoral roll.
Thirty-three percent thought that fresh polls were the best way out of the Perak mess, as opposed to 28% saying that it was prudent to accept the new BN state government.
Most of those polled — 66% — were against state governments formed through defections of state assemblypersons.
Thirty-five percent of those queried supported by-elections in Behrang, Changkat Jering, and Jelapang constituencies, where the Pakatan Rakyat representatives quit their respective parties to become "BN-friendly" independents, leading to the fall of the elected state government.
A majority of Chinese Malaysians and Indian Malaysians polled thought the Perak crisis would increase support for the Pakatan Rakyat, and reduce support for the BN. Opinions among Malay Malaysians however differed, with more thinking that it would decrease support for the opposition coalition, and increase support for the ruling government, than otherwise.
The poll also showed that 47% of all respondents thought the crisis decreased people's faith in Malaysian democracy.
But it is interesting to note, however, that many Malay Malaysian (48%) and Indian Malaysian (53%) respondents thought that events would increase the people's faith in Malaysian democracy. Chinese Malaysians were, however, less optimistic, with only 11% feeling the same way.
what say u people?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
biar apa orang kata.
yang ini aku gelar pemimpin.
pemimpin pada orang-orang aku yang semakin hari semakin lemah.
yang pada satu hari mungkin hancur.
hancur di tangan orang-orang mereka sendiri.
he looks good.
apa pun yang dilalui.
niat dan tujuan cuma satu.
menegakkan apa yang lawan kata salah.
tak perlu drama.
sebab dia tak pandai nak mengarah.
dia cuma betah bertindak.
the smile on his face.
senyuman itu ikhlas.
aku dapat rasakan.
bersama tangan-tangan menyokong di belakang.
dia tidak gentar.
sebab dia tahu dia di pihak yang benar.
dan aku yakin aku menyokong orang yang benar.
i'm very serious about this. my practicum in lunas was with the other 2 friends, what about posting?
it's okay with me if it happen to be somewhere in semenanjung. what if it happen to be somewhere in Pulau Bumbum or Ulu Baram in Sarawak or Sabah?
Camel said i have to learn to live on my own. it's true. i agree.
how to face and deal with it in the first place?
i have no choice.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
tepaksa la p klinik.
apela doktor ni nak cakap ngan aku agaknya.
ting! no 15 bilik A.
owe, doktor lelaki.
nama dah naik kat skrin, tanya lagi doktor ni.
aku nak cakap dulu sakit ape ke, nak dia teka?
skali aku 'achooo...!'
dia tau la tu kot.
dia doktor bukan bomoh.
sejak bila ni?
ada bersin x?
doktor ni mmg nak tau ke nak buat lawak?
itu lah masalah utama saya doktor.
blaja ke keja?
jangkit dr kawan ni sbenarnya doktor.
duduk asrama ke?
biasa la tu bila dah duduk ramai2 ni.
saya slesema ngan batuk doktor.
takpe, saya bg 2 ubat.
1 siang, 1 malam.
yang malam tu jgn silap ambik, nanti x pegi kelas kamu!
saya tau la doktor.
ambik ikut aturan.
nak jd cekgu mesti tau makan ubat kan.
masa ni aku rasa dilayan macam budak umor 7 taun.
okay, nanti ambik ubat kat luar ek.
okay, bubye doktor.
kalau x reda slesema saya, siapla doktor!
aku keluar, tunggu kat dispensary.
apsal suara orang kat dispensary and kaunter kat klinik smua sepesen?
yang ni makan siang, yang ni makan malam.
dinner ek? hehe.
yang ni ngantuk tau.
mana ubat batuk aku?
sampai ati doktor.
makan kat jam besar.
20 cucuk satay.
nasi putih + sup daging.
Monday, February 09, 2009
this is a tale of the unseen among the cohort 2's
faiz biting his nails, thinking
kalut laughing out loud almost at every second
riss joker of the redang
in authoring his hair + nyamuking all around
nani cek nama untuk kursus kawen
maddy betulkan tudung
kamilah smsing and laughing
atiqah keep wondering
najat kalut (verb)
ejat checking on attendance and giving announcement
christine reading thick books
kas wacking other people
odah silent and sopan
winnie no other than leann
leann i like her 'aiyaaa'
eva writing messages to be passed
wani looking at zul or sleep (this is my roomate)...
azmi aaa...loking around zul online 24/7
camel melatah and mengacau orang
boy he and his specs
mat elaun bila nak masuk
wondering what i'm doing?
i am looking around
because i can't see all these anymore in 3 months time...
woke up at 6.30
ready for class
mr. nukman's at 8.15
talked to kalut about 'issue kathleen'
sorok riss's earphone (it's his fault)
wani + zul presenting on RRA
winnie + leann presenting on TT's attitude
makan, seating beside wan, in front of maddy + nani
went to library
ribena + vitamin c
emergence + development of Malaysian english
it's the front door 'flu virus'
it feels so bad
my sister replied
'sakit dan x sihat tu kan kifarah dosa'
You must have heard this in the add on tv currently. I have 4 brothers, 3 elders and one younger.
This is a story of me and my 'incredible' big brother. He's the only one who is still single among my elder brother. He's 28 (or younger, i cant really remember..but i never forget his birthday). Why him?
He's concern about where i go, with whom, by what...
We can share the same 'bantal' watching tv...
He never wake me up whenever I fell asleep in the co-driver seat...
He feels nothing introducing me to his friends i never know...
He's always willing to share his drink though he knows he needs it more than i do...
He cares to top-up my phone anytime i desperately need it...
He holds my hand when we cross the road...
He doesn't mind been called 'driver' to anyone who needs a lift...
I can still remember when I was in Lunas doing my practicum - he's the one who sent me back to quarters during the fasting month..
at night or early in the morning, right after subuh..
The text he replied stuck tight in my mind - 'takpa la, kesian kat ang. ang bukak la posa dulu. satgi aku antaq.' After bukak posa - 'esok pagi la. kesian ang nak bangun sahur sorang2.'
He cares about me had to go back late to maktab for certain reasons, and he is the one who was willing to sent me back.
His replied text - 'alah, stakat s.p tu 4 x sehari pun aku sanggup.'
I once had the courage to ask him WHY, for all the things he does while my other brothers don't bother?
'sebab aku abang'
Sunday, February 08, 2009
On the first day of February, I got another nephew. New nephew! Mujahid bin Mohd. Luthfi. A little brother of Nur Shathirah, Mohd. Kamil, Mohd. Ikmal and Nur Najihah.
Makcik betul2 mintak maaf!
Mujahid is the eleventh in the list of my nieces and nephews. Undeniably, the feeling is different now. It's not that I did not feel the joy, but 'keadaan semasa' is like forcing me not to really enjoy it much. The feeling is not anymore the same like how i was told that I got my first niece, Munirah a.k.a Kak Yong.
If one day Mujahid was to read this entry, I just want him to know that makcik sayang, sayang dan sayang kamu semua.
Whatever it is, I am still grateful to be granted with akak2 dan abang2 (and my adik one day) who gave and will give me more 'people to love and be loved'.
(Mohd. Luthfi Mokhtar + Fazilawati Fadzil)
Nur Shathirah Mohd. Luthfi
Muhamad Kamil Mohd. Luthfi
Muhamad Ikmal Mohd. Luthfi
Nur Najihah Mohd. Luthfi
Mujahid Mohd. Luthfi
(Mazni Mokhtar + Muhamad Muslim Ghazali)
Munirah Muhamad Muslim
Maizatul Shahida Muhamad Muslim
Muhaimi Muhamad Muslim
(Bukhori Mokhtar + Nor Safariza Arof)
Nur Syifa Bukhori
Muhamad Zaim Bukhori
(Halimaton Mokhtar + Saiful Bukhori Rozi)
Ikhwan Bukhori Saiful Bukhori
selalu saja kurindu
abad-abad terus berlalu
berjuta kali berganti baju
nun jauh di
mata bening menatapku haru
yang selalu kurindu
Jika engkau adalah matahari
aku tak ingin datang malam hari.
Jika engkau adalah embun
aku ingin selalu pagi hari
jika di telapak kakimu tidak aku temui syurga itu
buat bonda, bonda, bonda dan ayahanda tercinta…
Namamu tak terukir
dalam catatan harian kami
Asal usulmu tak hadir
dalam diskusi kehidupan kami
Wajah wujudmu tak terlukis
dalam sketsa mimpi-mimpi kami
Indah suaramu tak terakam
dalam pita batin kami
Namun kau hidup mengaliri
pori-pori cinta dan semangat kami
kau adalah hadiah agung
buat puteri yang tercipta satu…